How To Build Willpower

Socrates once said: There is but one philosophy; fortitude, self mastery.

It is often said, before you can master the world around you, the self is the first. Without self mastery, you cannot reach any of your set goals. Self mastery requires you to have a strong will power.  Frank Tibolt, the author of A Touch of Greatness states over and over again in his book, “The will is the man. Will makes men giants.”

Will power is the resolve to overcome the inertia, laziness and procrastination. It is the ability to decide on something and see it through. It is the perseverance to overcome physical and mental fatigue and finish what has been started. Will power is the cornerstone of success, be it spiritual or material.

Having knowledge alone without the will power to take action will get us nowhere. Francis Bacon said, “Too many develop every talent except the most vital of all, the talent to use their talents . . . will power.”

There is no substitute for will power. Knowledge, money, good looks and status cannot take its place. It is a trait that you must develop within and here is the one method that will help you to achieve it:

Make yourself do one useful thing every day for no other reason than that you don’t fee like doing it. By applying the method above, you will build character, initiative, courage, persistence and most importantly will power. William James, the famous American psychologist of the 19^th century said, “Do something every day for no other reason than you rather not do it or don’t feel like doing it.”

Let us be honest with ourselves. The main reason most of us have not made more of ourselves is that we haven’t been tough enough with ourselves. We have been procrastinating, dawdling, pampering and giving excuses instead of getting down to business. It is time to act and stop dodging responsibility, being soft to ourselves and wasting our time on trifles and pleasures.

Here are things that you can do to develop will power in 6 weeks.

Week 1: Find a praiseworthy trait in a different person every day for a full week and  praise him or her for it.

Week 2: Completely cut-off TV for a whole week. For some this will be easy and for others this will be tough, but no matter what, stick with this. And enjoy the extra hours you gain by doing something useful.

Week 3: If you are overweight, cut down on your desserts for the whole week. Do not eat between meals.

 Week 4: Keep detail daily expenditures and cut down on unnecessary spending. If you feel like going for a movie, don’t do it. Do not purchase anything that you already have.

Week 5: Read biography of great men and women. Try to read at least one, but if you can do more than that, then do it.

Week 6: List down all that you need to improve personally and professionally. Spend at least 15 minutes on this everyday and another 15 minutes on thinking of ways you can achieve this.

After you have you completed this 6 exercises, go on and design your own exercises for the next 6 weeks. And after that another 6 and after that another cycle until becomes second nature.

Your will like your body and mind needs to exercise daily and that for the rest of your life. So get tough, get rough and force yourself to do one useful thing every day for no other reason than you don’t like doing it.

A Better Life in 100 Ways

While searching for some meaningful thing to read the other day, I came across this wonderful article by Dragos Roua.

This is a must read. Click here to read the article

If I had my life to live over," written by Erma Bombeck near the end of her life, details the values Bombeck wished had guided her daily decisions. If you were nearing the end of your life and you were writing this, what would you include? Use those ideas to craft your mission statement.

If I had my life to live over, I would have talked less and listened more. I would have invited friends over to dinner even if the carpet was stained and the sofa faded. I would have eaten the popcorn in the 'good' living room and worried much less about the dirt when someone wanted to light a fire in the fireplace. I would have taken the time to listen to my grandfather ramble about his youth. I would never have insisted the car windows be rolled up on a summer day because my hair had just been teased and sprayed. I would have burned the pink candle sculpted like a rose before it melted in storage. I would have sat on the lawn with my children and not worried about grass stains. I would have cried and laughed less while watching television - and more while watching life. I would have shared more of the responsibility carried by my husband. I would have gone to bed when I was sick instead of pretending the earth would go into a holding pattern if I weren't there for the day. I would never have bought anything just because it was practical, wouldn't show soil or was guaranteed to last a lifetime. Instead of wishing away nine months of pregnancy, I'd have cherished every moment and realized that the wonderment growing inside me was the only chance in life to assist God in a miracle. When my kids kissed me impetuously, I would never have said, "Later. Now go get washed up for dinner." There would have been more "I love you's".. More "I'm sorrys" ... But mostly, given another shot at life, I would seize every minute... look at it and really see it ... live it...and never give it back.

Source: FranklinCovey

Living For The Day

Shut off yesterday. Don't view tomorrow. Live only in the compartment called today. And surely you can do your best today. Surely you can handle any problem that comes today.

Do this everyday.

Getty on How to be a Billionaire

J. Paul Getty was billionaire before most people even heard of the word. And here is his advise on how to become one:

TRY HARDER

That is all.

An Opportunity Finding List

This list appears in Lesson 2 of A Touch of Greatness.

1. How can I improve some part of my job?
2. Does it have to be done this way?
3. How can I increase production?
4. How can I reduce cost?
5. How can I increase profits?
6. How can I save time?
7. How can I reduce friction, delays, tie-ups or accidents?
8. What ideas from some other field can I use profitably here?
9. How can I express initiative, the biggest achievement factor?

Source: A Touch of Greatness

How to be Assertive

Here are 9 ways you can be assertive and put yourself in a position of control.

1. Make your statements brief and to the point. And also make it crystal clear.

2. Indicate in a plain clear manner that you are not hiding behind someone or something.

3. Go easy on the advice. People usually don’t like it too much to be told that they are wrong.

4. Use questions to seek the views of others and also to gauge their reactions to your behavior

5. Always, yes always distinguish between facts and opinions.

6. Don’t be dogmatic when expressing something. Be positive.

7. Point out that you are aware that others have their point of view

8. If necessary, express without emotion, the negative feeling about the effects of other people’s behavior on you. Be factual.

9. Indicate to people politely the repercussion of their behavior.

Nourishing and Toxic Living - Part 5 of 5

21. Nourishing : Do I focus on the gratifications and meaningfulness of day-to-day experiences as the essence of living a nourishing life?
or
Toxic: Do I toil without satisfaction, working toward the day when, hopefully, I will "be happy"?

22. Nourishing : Do I center my attention on appreciating what I enjoy in my experience of myself and my world?
or
Toxic: Do I focus on what's lacking or what I find frustrating?

23. Nourishing : Do I accept myself as I am and continue my growth primarily as something I want for myself?
or
Toxic: Do I stand condemned in my own eyes as inadequate and seek to "prove" myself by accomplishments or success?

24. Nourishing : Do I experience my selfishness as an expression of the law of self-preservation?
or
Toxic: Do I believe "selfishness" is a dirty word?

25. Nourishing : Do I accept pain as a normal aspect of living and inevitable aspect of my growth?
or
Toxic: Do I experience pain (anxiety, tension, fearfulness) as something "evil"?

26. Nourishing : Am I aware that pain is often a valuable message directing my attention toward some frustrated need which I am neglecting?
or
Toxic: Do I consider pain as something to be immediately minimized or eliminated in any way possible?

27. Nourishing : Is my behavior a reaction to my experiencing of present reality?
or
Toxic: Do I project my past experience onto the present?

Nourishing and Toxic Living - Part 4 of 5

16. Nourishing : Do I accept myself as I am and decide how I wish to change it all?
or
Toxic : Do I believe I must become a different person in order to live a nourishing , gratifying life?

17. Nourishing : Am I willing to take the risks of reaching out for what I want?
or
Toxic : Am I fearful of rejection that I would rather starve myself emotionally than risked being turned down?

18. Nourishing : Do I experience my feelings and emotions as valuable parts of myself?
or
Toxic : Do I see them as weaknesses to be controlled and suppressed?

19. Nourishing : Am I aware of the changing reality of myself and the world around me?
or
Toxic : Do I rigidly insist on my established attitudes and values as fixed and unchangeable?

19. Nourishing : Do I accept mistakes as an inevitable part of learning?
or
Toxic : When I do something that displeases me do I attack myself with ridicule, disgust or self-punishment?

Nourishing and Toxic Living - Part 3 of 5

11. Nourishing : Do I see life as exciting and stimulating?
or
Toxic : Do I experience myself struggling to stay alive in a jungle of hostile forces?

12. Nourishing : Do I see myself as continuing to grow to the last day of my life?
or
Toxic : Do I create an artificial cutoff and live as if my opportunities for new discoveries and new found joys were over?

13. Nourishing : Do I accept my need for other people as part of my life style?
or
Toxic : Do I "let it all hang out" and if others don't like it, " Who needs them"?

14. Nourishing : Do I experience my conflicts and "problems" as essentially of my own making?
or
Toxic : Do I project these onto other people and blame them for my troubles?

15. Nourishing : Is my behaviour primarily self-regulating and based on my discoveries of what fits me?
or
Toxic : Do I cling to attitudes instilled in me in my childhood which I am afraid to reject?

Nourishing and Toxic Living - Part 2 of 5

6. Nourishing :Do I pay attention to one experience at a time?
or
Toxic : Do I try to do two things at once thereby split my attention into pieces?

7. Nourishing : Do I take for myself the central role of determining my life style?
or
Toxic : Do I give over this function to others?

8. Nourishing : Do I take responsibility for satisfying my own needs?
or
Toxic : Do I try to manipulate other people into doing it for me?

9. Nourishing : Do I take for function as best I can in the here and now of my life?
or
Toxic : Do I cling to the misfortunes and tragedies of my past (real or imagined) and use these as excuses to avoid taking responsibility for myself in the present?

10. Nourishing : Do I take live my personal life as I see fit and take my chances that some people will reject me?
or
Toxic : Do I go through life explaining myself and needing everyone's approval?

Can You Say No?

Can you do that? Say no, without feeling guilty.

For reasons of being seen as selfish, rude or simply the need to be a nice guy, we feel terrible inside when we say no.

If you find yourself doing more than your fair share of work, never having time for yourself and always living on the edge, then you probably need to cut down on some of your commitments. The best way to this is to say no new commitments.

Do not associate the feeling of guilt with saying no. By saying no, you are committing your energy to the task on hand. This is better then accepting new obligations but scattering your resources and losing your focus.

By saying no to new tasks at work, you are also letting others grow. If you always been the one organizing bowling tournaments for your organization, why not say no this time around. Let others do it. Let them learn.

Here are several tips you can use to say no.

1. Just say it. Be firm and sincere. Let others know that you have other obligations.

2. Make it short.

3. Be honest.

4. Always be respectful.

5. Repeat, if necessary.

Eight Ways To Develop Self Discipline

Self discipline is the first habit you must develop before you can develop any other. Try the tips below to attain this habit which is common to all achievers.

1. Take responsibility. Realize the fact effort is needed to achieve any task. Nothing done means nothing achieved.

2. Acknowledge that you will tend to resist change. Expect to heat the silent whisper of procrastination and laziness. Persist to accomplish your task anyway.

3. Visualize completing the task.

4. Act.

5. Relive your accomplishment. Keep a journal of all your successes and read it often. The more joy you get in finishing projects or task the more you will be motivated in your next endeavour.

6. Change your focus. Do not focus on the effort but focus on the pleasure you get finishing something that you started.

7. Be firm. Remember that the world will be easy on those who are hard on themselves.

8. Seek to do things that you avoid. This keeps you nimble and develops the habit of doing what is good rather than what feels good.