Overconfidence Can Be Good

Read this interesting new research about why a little cockiness is good for you.

How To Build Willpower

Socrates once said: There is but one philosophy; fortitude, self mastery.

It is often said, before you can master the world around you, the self is the first. Without self mastery, you cannot reach any of your set goals. Self mastery requires you to have a strong will power.  Frank Tibolt, the author of A Touch of Greatness states over and over again in his book, “The will is the man. Will makes men giants.”

Will power is the resolve to overcome the inertia, laziness and procrastination. It is the ability to decide on something and see it through. It is the perseverance to overcome physical and mental fatigue and finish what has been started. Will power is the cornerstone of success, be it spiritual or material.

Having knowledge alone without the will power to take action will get us nowhere. Francis Bacon said, “Too many develop every talent except the most vital of all, the talent to use their talents . . . will power.”

There is no substitute for will power. Knowledge, money, good looks and status cannot take its place. It is a trait that you must develop within and here is the one method that will help you to achieve it:

Make yourself do one useful thing every day for no other reason than that you don’t fee like doing it. By applying the method above, you will build character, initiative, courage, persistence and most importantly will power. William James, the famous American psychologist of the 19^th century said, “Do something every day for no other reason than you rather not do it or don’t feel like doing it.”

Let us be honest with ourselves. The main reason most of us have not made more of ourselves is that we haven’t been tough enough with ourselves. We have been procrastinating, dawdling, pampering and giving excuses instead of getting down to business. It is time to act and stop dodging responsibility, being soft to ourselves and wasting our time on trifles and pleasures.

Here are things that you can do to develop will power in 6 weeks.

Week 1: Find a praiseworthy trait in a different person every day for a full week and  praise him or her for it.

Week 2: Completely cut-off TV for a whole week. For some this will be easy and for others this will be tough, but no matter what, stick with this. And enjoy the extra hours you gain by doing something useful.

Week 3: If you are overweight, cut down on your desserts for the whole week. Do not eat between meals.

 Week 4: Keep detail daily expenditures and cut down on unnecessary spending. If you feel like going for a movie, don’t do it. Do not purchase anything that you already have.

Week 5: Read biography of great men and women. Try to read at least one, but if you can do more than that, then do it.

Week 6: List down all that you need to improve personally and professionally. Spend at least 15 minutes on this everyday and another 15 minutes on thinking of ways you can achieve this.

After you have you completed this 6 exercises, go on and design your own exercises for the next 6 weeks. And after that another 6 and after that another cycle until becomes second nature.

Your will like your body and mind needs to exercise daily and that for the rest of your life. So get tough, get rough and force yourself to do one useful thing every day for no other reason than you don’t like doing it.

Self Esteem and Behaviour

The following is a summary of the basic approach of the self in true experience and creation of human understanding as written by Clark E. Moustakas.

1. The individual knows himself better than anyone else.

2. Only the individual himself can develop his potentials.

3. The individual's perception of his own feelings, attitudes, and ideas is more valid than outside diagnosis can be.

4. Behaviour can best be understood from the individual's own point of view.

5. The individual responds in such ways as to be consistent with himself.

6. The individual's perception of himself determines how he will behave

7.Objects have no meaning in themselves. Individuals give meanings, reality to them. These meanings reflect the individual's background.

8. Every individual is logical in the context of his own personal experience. His point of view may seem iilogical to others when not understood.

9. As long as the individual accepts himself, he will continue to grow and develop his potentialities. When he does not accept himself, much of his energies will be used to defend rather than explore and to actualize himself.

10. Every individual wants to grow toward self-fulfillment. These growth strivings are present at all times.

11. An individual learns significantly only those things which are involved in the maintenance or enhancement of self. No one can force the individual to permanent or creative learning. He will only learn only if he wills to. Any other type of learning is temporary and inconsistent with the self and will disappear as soon as the threat is removed.

12. Concepts, ideas, symbols, and events can be denied or distorted but experience is experienced in the unique reality of the individual person and cannot be untrue to itself. If it threatens maintenance or enhancement of self, the experience will be of little relevance or consequence to the individual though it may temporarily stifle further growth.

13. We cannot teach another person directly and we cannot facilitate real learning for another person in the sense making it easier. We can make learning for another possible by providing the information, the setting, the atmosphere, materials, resources, and by being there. The learning process itself is a unique individualistic experience. It may be a difficult experience for the individual person even if it has significance for the enhancement of self.

14. Under threat the self is less open to spontaneous expression; that is, is more passive and controlled. When free from threat the self is more open, that is, free to be and to strive for actualization.