How to be Assertive

Here are 9 ways you can be assertive and put yourself in a position of control.

1. Make your statements brief and to the point. And also make it crystal clear.

2. Indicate in a plain clear manner that you are not hiding behind someone or something.

3. Go easy on the advice. People usually don’t like it too much to be told that they are wrong.

4. Use questions to seek the views of others and also to gauge their reactions to your behavior

5. Always, yes always distinguish between facts and opinions.

6. Don’t be dogmatic when expressing something. Be positive.

7. Point out that you are aware that others have their point of view

8. If necessary, express without emotion, the negative feeling about the effects of other people’s behavior on you. Be factual.

9. Indicate to people politely the repercussion of their behavior.

The "Better Immediately" Principle

This principle can be illustrated by this example;you see a spot of stain on your stove, rather than wiping sighing and telling yourself that the whole stove needs a wipe over, you just take a piece of rag and clean the stain first.

This simple action leaves you feeling a little better about the situation. Rather than aiming for perfection ( wiping the whole stove), you acted immediately and made a positive difference. This, of course, shouldn't stop you from cleaning the whole stove later

This is a useful principle to use. Rather than always seeking perfection, strive for a simple and direct solution first to address the problem at hand.