Never More Than Necessary

 "When you wish to instruct, be brief; that men's minds take in quickly what you say, learn its lesson, and retain it faithfully. Every word that is unnecessary only pours over the side of a brimming mind." ~ Cicero

Of all things that can be overdone, talking too much probably does the worst damage. Words once spoken cannot be taken back.By not saying more than needed, you minimize the risk of being misunderstood, misinterpreted or misquoted.

By keeping your words short and simple, you will get the message across faster and clearer. You messages have a very small chance or none at all being misunderstood. This is especially important when you are giving instructions. A concise instruction has shown to achieve more long muddled ones.

Which of these 2 signage below do you think is more effective?

 

 Researches have found that the sign on the right is far more effective than the one on the left.

There are many other examples of this, a "DANGER RADIOACTIVE" is found to be more effective than   "DANGER-KEEP AWAY- RADIOACTIVE MATERIALS ARE STORED NEARBY". Saying "SILENCE PLEASE" is found to be better than telling "THANK YOU for KEEPING QUIET".

Saying less and getting more done is a skill that can be learned. Anyone can do it.

How To Be More Convincing When You Talk

1.       Use small active verbs of physical movement for power and force

Verbs are words that bring to life what you say.  The more simple active verbs you use, the better. Your language will be more forceful and convincing.  Words such as pull, push, break, cut, spin, run, go, strike, stir brings life and movement to your talk. Avoid abstract and vague verbs. It destroys the power and force of what you say. Abstract verbs are usually nouns modified by adding -ize as in finalize or -ate as in officiate.  They bore your listener and makes him lose interest in what you have to say.

2.       Use simple words

The simpler your words are the more potent it is. Short simple words are powerful not only while talking but also in writing.  Note how much more force is in the sentence,“ Do Not Smoke” than in, “ Thank You For Not Smoking.”

3.       Use personal words

Always use personal words such as I, you, we, us, Smith, janitor. It is specific and more powerful. Avoid at all cost words that are used to pass the buck such as; “They said”, “It was said”.  They destroy the force of your talk.

4.       Be direct

Be direct. Be specific. Use illustration if you have to but do not beat around the bush.  And if you don’t know, say so.

5.       Deliver one idea at a time

The human brain has almost infinite capacity to store information but it only can take in so much at a given time. When you talk, you are transmitting information that your listener’s brain needs to interpret and this requires effort. If you are giving too many ideas at a time, your listener will simply lose interest out of exhaustion.  Giving one idea allows more time for the working memory of your listener to process it better and this helps in holding his interest.

6.       Respect your listener

Don’t talk down to your listener. You will lose his interest and that is it.

6 Simple Ways To Earn Respect

Respect, like money, must be earned. Here are six simple ways you can earn the respect of others.

1.       Seize opportunity  that offers increased responsibility

Don’t be afraid to assume more responsibility. Remember, to be stand out of crowd, you must be more than the crowd. If you are doing the same as what others are doing, you will never be more than them. If there is a fund raising project in your company, get yourself involved. If your boss is looking for some extra help with a report he is preparing, offer yourself. Do not worry what others might say, just go about your way and seize every opportunity that will increase your responsibility. 

2.       Do your best in every task you are given

Always give your best. As George Bernard Shaw once said, “Do your best in whatever you do, with whatever you have, wherever you are.” Do not whine or complain if you do not have all the tools or facts to get the job done, quietly go and search for solutions. Improvise and be resourceful.

3.       Admit your mistakes

Never pass the buck. This will hurt your reputation badly and it may never recover.  The ability to admit mistakes takes courage and wins you supporters and admirers. Most importantly, it wins you respect. You must also have the courage to accept honest criticism. This shows maturity and your willingness to learn.

                            

4.       Stand your ground

Do not be made of glass. Don’t change your principles out of fear or to gain favour. If you are sure of your convictions, have the courage to stand by it. By no means am I suggesting you to be hard headed. Now and then you might have see things differently. There will be time you must back down to go forward in life but once you are sure of what you think is right, stick to it.

5.       Take complete responsibility

Your success and your failures are results of your actions. Where you are in life and where you will go depends on you. So take responsibility for your actions. Do not blame others of your failures.  And understand that your success depends on your efforts too. As a leader of man once said, responsibility is the price you must pay for greatness.

6.       Take responsibility for the failures of those working for you

You are responsible for the performance of those under you. It is your job to ensure that they will always give their best. Their failure to do so, is your failure too. Do not run away from this responsibility.  Your ability to accept responsibility for the failures of your subordinates will win you loyalty and respect.

Travelling Lightly

Many times in the course of my life I have either heard or read these words: "Travel lightly in this world". I knew what it meant but never thought too much about it.

I do now.

I have came to realize, the more things we have, the more the mind seems to be cluttered. I decided to do away with a few things in my life.

I decided to clear to give away clothes that I don't wear too often. I threw away bits of papers that been lying around here and there. I got rid of business cards of people that I had met only once the last 20 years.

In the office, I threw away documents that have no use to me anymore. I had also learned to delegate parts of my work and do away with the need to be informed of everything.

I have decided not to carry too many things with me, either physically, emotionally or mentally. I am trying to let go of my worries, to control my desire, to educate my ego and I found have this to be liberating.

There are still a lot of knowledge I have to gain and  much work to be done before I can truly do more with less.

How to Say No

Do you find yourself leaving the office late more often than not? Do you find yourself hardly any time left for yourself? You seem to be always in a rush and have a feeling not being in control of your own affairs.

In a world where cost cutting and multi-tasking a reality rather than theory, the worker is often given more and more responsibilities, leaving no time at all for anything else.


The most effective way to lighten your load is to simply say NO. For many this is not as easy as it sounds like. Often when we say no, we feel guilty. We feel we have committed a selfish act and have let the requestor down.

Saying no is not a negative behavior, on the contrary it is a positive concept. You have the right to say no. You have the right for self-determination. Of course there are certain jobs, like the police and military, saying no is a breach of discipline and can result in being sacked but almost all others are not as rigid.

The first step in cultivating the habit of saying no, is the awareness that telling no is not an selfish act. You have the right to evaluate your feelings. You have the right to make judgment and to take action on all matters pertaining yourself. You have the right to make decision for yourself, no matter illogical.

There are many ways of telling no and at the same time not been seen as hostile Here are 6 ways.

1. Just say no. Pretty obvious isn’t it. This is the best method. If you really mean no, then say it. You do not have raise your voice. Be clear and be definite. Look at the person making the request in the eyes and say no. Don’t justify, that will encourage in negotiation and discussion.

2. Pre-empt. As soon as you someone racing down the corridor and sure that a request is going to be made, let them know that you know. Intercept and say, “Hello, I know what is you are going to ask. You want to help you in that presentation, right”. I am sorry, I wish I could but I just can’t at the moment.”

3. Show your appreciation with a word or two. “It is a great offer but I am sorry I have another project I am putting my best efforts on”. You do not have to explain what other project you are doing.

4. Commend the other person. “I value you so much, and I love to work with you on this but I really cannot”.

5. Buy time. “Let me think about it’ or “Please give me some time to consider”. You can call back in 30 minutes or so and then tell politely no. The time that passed blunts your response and makes it easier for the other person to deal with.

6. State your principle. If you have a set of code that you live by and the request made is not in line with it, you can say so, “ I Don’t do this as a matter of principle.

Needless Exhaustion

Do you stay up late browsing the TV channel or surfing the net when you have work to do in the morning? Do you get worked-up on trivial things? If you do, then you are expanding your energy needlessly.

Energy is not infinite. No matter the supplement you take, the human body cannot perform its best after a certain point and completely breaks down if you ignore the warning signals.

To perform at your optimum best, it is important that you expand your energy at the right things. Avoid things and people who suck your energy for no good reason.

Think For Yourself

Thinking is hard work.  And that is the reason why most of us let others do for you.

Now, think about it. From the time you woke this morning, you probably have heard hundreds of advertisements, each claiming to be the best in their segment. They really do not want you to think,  so they tell you to go and buy it.  If you followed the news, the government is also telling you not to think. They have figured for you and me, just follow and blissfulness is ours.

One of the most terrible things that you can do to yourself is let others think for you. Never ever do that.

The number One stakeholder in your life is you, so always think for yourself.You know what is best for you.

10 Steps to Self Management

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1 Control what you say and how you say it
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2 Do not lose self control
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3 Do the difficult task first
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4 Reward yourself
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5 Use time management
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6 Keep in good shape
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7 Avoid over self-indulgence
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8 Develop strong willpower and keep telling yourself you have one
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9 Handle procrastination
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10 Believe in Yourself
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Find Out

Getting things done is important. But you must get the right things done.

Look around you and you see almost everyone is doing something. But are they doing the right thing?

Find out what needs to be done and do it. Spend a little time finding the facts, finding what really needs to be done and then put your heart and soul in it.

Find out and save your resources

Personal Mission Statement

Personal mission statement is like a road map that guides us in our journey in life. It provides thrust and is a statement of purpose. Personal mission statement must inspire and excite. It should also build character.

Here are the things that you need to write your personal mission statement.

1. Paper and pen.

2. A place you are not interrupted.

3. Being aware of yourself. Personal mission statement cannot be written overnight. You must look into yourself and know your likes and dislikes. What are your talents and your passions. What makes you do the things you do.

4. Know your personality and the roles you play in life: son, father, electrical engineer, community leader or social worker.

5. Your personality traits. Write down all the good qualities you have for each role you play in life. Write only the positives. Are you charming? Generous? Optimist? Vivacious? Enthusiastic?

6. Know your beliefs and core values. This is an important part in writing a personal mission statement. Take your time to ponder upon this. Write down your beliefs and core values. After that narrow to more important beliefs and most important belief and value. To choose your most important value and belief, think about what impact you want to have, what you want others to remember you by.

7. Identify your goals. Write down about your priorities in life and your goals. Make a list of your short-term goals (from one to three years) and long-term goals (beyond three years).

8. Write down your mission statement. Incorporate items three to seven from the above and start writing your personal mission statement. Don’t rush through this and make it concise. You might have write and re-write a few times before getting it right.

9. Live it. Once you have written your personal mission statement, it is time to apply it. Remind yourself daily of your personal mission statement so that it is etched into your conscious mind and subconscious mind.

How to be Assertive

Here are 9 ways you can be assertive and put you in a position of control.

1. Make your statements brief and to the point. And also make it crystal clear.

2. Indicate in a plain clear manner that you are not hiding behind someone or something.

3. Go easy on the advice. People usually don’t like it too much to be told that they are wrong.

4. Use questions to seek the views of others and also to gauge their reactions to your behavior

5. Always, yes always distinguish between facts and opinions.

6. Don’t be dogmatic when expressing something. Be positive.

7. Point out that you are aware that others have their point of view

8. If necessary, express without emotion, the negative feeling about the effects of other people’s behavior on you. Be factual.

9. Indicate to people politely the repercussion of their behavior.

Reflections on Taking Action

You can read all the self help books you want;attend hundreds of self improvement courses, read self help blogs everyday and repeat self suggestions and motivations every hour of the day but nothing will change if you don't act.

Look at the world around you and notice that everything obeys the law of cause and effect. The screen you are reading this from just didn't happen. Someone thought of it, another built it. Just thinking about it did not make it happen. The thought was just the seed.

The seed had to be planted and nurtured and only after it had grown into a tree and starts to fruit can we harvest it. The same goes for the all the knowledge you have gained.

You must take action on it to see the benefits of it.

7 Ways to Develop The Action Habit

Here are 7 simple and effective ways you can develop the action habit.

1. Avoid “desperate statements”. If you keep using desperate sounding statements, i.e. “I must do this or else..”, you are actually preparing your mind for a conflict and body responds with “fight or flight” response. This saps your energy and in the long haul you will be burned out. Use positive statements such as, “ I will”, or “I can”, instead.

2. Take the first step. And concentrate on the beginning. Do not let you mind wander too far away from the early stages. Get absorbed in what you are doing, learn to enjoy it rather than looking towards the end result.

3. Do not aim for perfection. Many people start something new only to give up because it is not perfect. The world we live in is not perfect so do not worry about producing perfection.

4. Learn to play more. When you are under pressure, break the monotony and learn to take breaks. It can be a simple solitaire game in your pc or just surfing the net looking for poetry. It does a lot of good to the mind, body and spirit if you can walk away for a little while and come back rather than straining yourself trying to finish what you started.

5. Recognize your fears. When you are about to begin something big in your professional life or personal life, the fear of the unknown can stop you dead at your tracks. It is important that you know your fears. Break them down and analyze them. Never be incapacitated by them.

6. Have a schedule. Write down the deadline to the things you want complete and the goals you want to reach. Start from that date and work in reverse. Have a proper structure and breakdown your tasks to small bits.

7. Never wait for the ideal time. It will never come.